Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize