Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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