i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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