You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
