it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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