I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
high people should be assigned attendants
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
