On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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