STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
