Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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