i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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