why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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