drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize