omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
