OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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