she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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