come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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