A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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