Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
