if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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