I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
