I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
