Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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