I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
