Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
