yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
