they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
