hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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