I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom