A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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