After last night, I could never be a politician.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
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Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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