A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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