She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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