Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
