so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
