The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
