guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
