I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
