did you get engaged???
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
