2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
