so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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