I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
