what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
