Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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