a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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