haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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