You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
