To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
