is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize