In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
try to milk me bitch
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