you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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