get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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