Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize