I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
