Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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