one two three fourrrrnication!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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