I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
