Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
