NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
