Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
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So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
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The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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